You gave birth to a sweet baby boy, however, your selfishness has kept you from him. In a few days he turns 5 months old. He has begun to smile, laugh, and chatter. He is slowly learning how to roll over. You are missing this because you cannot move past the stumbling blocks in your life. In a sense this infuriates me. In another it makes me hurt for you. However, it makes me hurt most for the precious life you brought into this world.
This baby boy is growing up in a home where he is loved. He is taken care of by two parents who are raising a child for the first time. I am sure we are making mistakes, and will in the future. However, you made the biggest mistake by letting this beautiful boy slip through your fingers. It angers me that you were allowed to have children, while my wife and I were not. Life is not fair, which is something your child will learn as he grows and matures.
I know life certainly must seem unfair to you. I am sure you have seen your share of hardship. You certainly have experienced hurt and heartache along the way, as every person has. I pray that you find healing. Likewise, I pray for the baby boy that you unwittingly gifted us with. Even if he is not our’s to keep forever, he has brought us so much joy in the few short months he has been a part of our lives.
Each month that you stall out on your legal obligations, you fill my wife and I with yet more uncertainty. Will we get to keep this little boy? Are we going to lose him after growing to love him like he was our own? These are questions that play over and over again in my mind. His young mind is beginning to see us as his parents. Are you going to take him back when he is just a stranger to you? How much will that destroy his psyche?
My wife and I knew what we were getting ourselves into when we took your child into our home. We welcomed him with open arms. We have fed him, bathed him, clothed him, and we have dried his tears when he has cried. Most of all we have loved him and nurtured him in an environment where he is thriving. You are missing out because you cannot see past your own wants and desires. I empathize with your plight. However, that does nothing to quell the anger I feel towards you. I pray that God will work on my heart to look past this anger. Likewise, I pray that He will give me a heart of forgiveness and love.