Author: rtb77

I am a 45 year old male who was born with spina bifida and hydrocephalus. I have been married to my incredible wife Amanda for nearly 10 years. We live in Illinois and both work in government jobs. I enjoy reading, writing, and watching Chicago Cubs baseball. I also enjoy the absurdity that daily life often brings, especially to those with disabilities. I try to see the humor in these situations. If you are offended by the use of the word “crippled” in the title of this blog please read the first post. I don’t like the word crippled and have never considered myself as such. Furthermore, I have never wanted to stand out from others. However, my intent is to show how humor has helped me deal with the hardship of disability. Likewise, I want to show others how full a life one can lead, even if you happen to be disabled. The use of the word “crippled” for the title is meant to be a bit of irony.

100!

When I started writing this blog back in January of 2019, I wasn’t sure where it would lead. At first my goal was to focus on issues related to my disability. However, my life really isn’t defined by having spina bifida. Therefore, this blog has expanded to be a place where I can share my thoughts on current events, give insights on what living life with a disability is like, and just share humorus observations of the world around me. I hope you have enjoyed following me on this journey.

This particular post will be the 100th post that I have written. I thought in keeping with that, I’d create a list of 100 lessons that I have learned, observations that I’ve made, or opinions that I have formed. Every day there are new lessons to be learned and new experiences to be had. These are just a few of the things I have picked up along the way. Let me know if I have missed anything. Here is my list in no particular order.

100. Never take a hansom cab ride in New York City.
99. Never be afraid to try something new (except for that hansom cab ride in New York City).
98. Holding a grudge against anyone is pointless.
97. God will indeed give you more than you can handle at times.
96. Don’t ever give up. Things will get better. It might just take time.
95. Life is unfair.
94. Anxiety can make you feel like you need to do everything all at once. You actually don’t need to do this. Just slow down and take things one step at a time.
93. The smell of the air just before it rains is one of the best scents.
92. The smell of a baby’s head just after they have had a bath is THE best scent there is.
91. The love that a dog has for its master is one of the purest forms of love there is.
90. Losing someone that you love is one of the most painful things you can ever experience.
89. Working hard to achieve a goal is one of the greatest feelings that you will have.
88. Sitting outside in the winter in a place where there is very little, if any, light pollution and looking up at the stars on a clear night is something everyone should try at least once.
87. Going on a road trip with someone you love is a lot of fun.
86. Dorothy was right, “there is no place like home.“
85. Take time to pray every day.
84. Dirt tastes like dirt (yes, I have tried dirt before).
83. Beets taste like dirt.
82. Walnuts taste like dirt.
81. The taste of soap is not pleasant. (Yes, I have had my mouth washed out with soap. It was at church no less).
80. Cilantro tastes like soap.
79. Eating a bag of peanuts on a warm, summer day at baseball game is one if the most relaxing experiences there is.
78. Take time to listen to the stories that your grandparents tell. I am fortunate that I did. I will treasure these memories for as long as I live.
77. Learn about the things that have happened in the past. You can learn a lot from history.
76. You can never read enough books.
75. Learning to adapt to change is difficult, but it is well worth the effort.
74. Being a homeowner is both a blessing and a curse.
73. It pays to do things correctly the first time.
72. I’d rather have more time to do the things that I want to do in life than to make more money. Time is far more valuable than money.
71. There are still very kind people in the world. Many of them live in the U.K.
70. Listen to your parents. They know more than you do.
69. Do at least one thing you enjoy doing every day.
68. Never pray for patience. God just might answer your prayers in ways you don’t expect.
67. When working with others it is often best to let them speak first. You just might gain some new perspective.
66. Donuts are little bites of heaven.
65. Mashed potatoes are the best food ever!
64. Chick-fil-A is overrated.
63. Fountain Coke at McDonald’s is the best.
62. Hot McDonald’s french fries are the best.
61. The Blues Brothers is one of the best films ever made.
60. Somedays you just have to listen to the Beatles.
59. You will never get everyone to like you.
58. Pancakes made at home are better than you can get in any restaurant.
57. NASCAR is not a sport.
56. Everyone should make a trip to the ocean at least once.
55. Everyone should travel overseas. You will gain a new perspective on life.
54. There is nothing like a good night’s sleep.
53. Spending time in the mountains is one of the most peaceful things you can do.
52. Disney World is overrated.
51. Bacon tastes best when crispy.
50. Cats can indeed be needy (I live with two who are very needy).
49. Sunny days are the best kind of days.
48. Never have your eyes dilated on a sunny day.
47. You can’t properly eat Oreo cookies without a glass of milk.
46. Getting an unexpected package in the mail is better than gifts on Christmas Day.
45. No one has ever sang the National Anthem better than Whitney Houston.
44. No one’s instrumental version of the National Anthem has been better than Jimi Hendrix’s rendition from the Woodstock Festival in 1969.
43. September is the best month when it comes to weather, at least here in Illinois.
42. Rollercoasters are not fun!
41. There is no ceremony quite as somber as the “changing of the guard” at Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia.
40. Ken Burns knows how to make a documentary film better than anyone else. If baseball doesn’t start soon I might have to dive into his 23-hour epic on the sport.
39. Don’t ever try smoking.
38. Tell the people you love how you feel while you still can.
37. Sometimes you just need to eat a big, greasy, cheeseburger.
36. It is never too cold to eat ice cream.
35. Read to your kids when they are young.
34. Walter Payton is the best football player I ever saw play the game.
33. Hot dogs should never be eaten with ketchup.
32. Thanksgiving is the best holiday.
31. Christmas becomes less fun the older you get. However, I suspect this changes once you start having your own children.
30. One of the best sounds you can hear is a baby’s laugh.
29. Many of the best things in life are free.
28. Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
27. A soft answer often turns away wrath.
26. Sometimes it best just to remain silent.
25. Autumn is the best season.
24. Always apologize when you are wrong.
23. Michael Jordan was the best basketball player I have ever seen play the game.
22. Don’t argue about politics on social media.
21. Forgive others when they wrong you.
20. Don’t pour gasoline on a fire.
19. Voting for the lesser of the two evils still brings you evil.
18. Finish your work first then you can enjoy your play all the more.
17. You often get what you give.
16. Cynicism isn’t always a bad thing.
15. Always finish what you start.
14. Let your yes be yes and let your no be no.
13. Family is important.
12. Steak is best when cooked medium. Anything else and you cook the flavor out of it.
11. Help others when and where you can.
10. As long as you are alive there is always hope.
09. Nothing quenches your thirst better than water.
08. Admit your mistakes and learn from them.
07. Always tell the truth.
06. Don’t expect others to respect you if you don’t show respect yourself.
05. Every thing should be done in moderation.
04. Always say “please” and “thank you.”
03. You get what you pay for.
02. Fear can be a good motivator.
01. The love of a good woman is a very special thing.

July 13, 2020 0

Saturdays

For as long as I can remember, Saturday has been my favorite day of the week. When I was a little boy I’d get up early and watch cartoons. I’d grab a pillow and a blanket and bed down on the living room floor and lay in front of the TV for hours. After cartoons would finish it was on to This Week in Baseball. I loved to get a behind the scenes look of my favorite players each week. Perhaps the best part of this show, however, was the host, Mel Allen.

Mel Allen was a sports broadcaster who was born in Alabama, so he spoke with a distinct Southern drawl. His voice was warm and very welcoming. It made Saturday mornings more cozy hearing him deliver highlights from around the world of baseball each week. I miss those carefree days. However, there is still nothing like a Saturday morning.

As I write this I am drinking some coffee and enjoying hearing the sounds around the house. Amanda’s parents are in town this weekend. So, grandma is holding Baby Boy as he giggles. Amanda and her dad are putting a puzzle together at the dining room table. I am in the kitchen feeling nostalgic for my 1980’s childhood.

I am 43 now, the cartoons I enjoyed as a kid are still available through various streaming services. However, I have not been able to find This Week in Baseball. I’d love to be able to relive some of those moments from my childhood with Mel Allen. I suppose there might be some episodes on YouTube. I’ll have to see.

Hopefully, by the end of this month baseball will have returned to the airwaves, as players are preparing to begin a shortened season. It looks as if quite a few players are opting not to play. Therefore, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see if things truly get underway.

I wonder what an episode of This Week in Baseball would look like today. I am sure players would be wearing masks as they were being interviewed. Highlights from the games would show nearly empty stadiums, as fans would not be allowed through the gates to watch the action in person. The voice of Mel Allen would not be there, as he has been gone since 2013. I am glad I have memories of those simpler times.

Life is still good. There are so many things to be thankful for each day. However, I truly miss some of the things that I once knew and loved. Lazy Saturday mornings are still here. They would just be a little sweeter if I could hear the voice of Mel Allen coming through the TV speakers, while clips of Ozzie Smith performing some of his “wizardry” played alongside Mel’s commentary. Those were the days.

July 11, 2020 0

Scars

Scars are ugly, at least that is what many people think. I would disagree. After having undergone dozens of surgeries, I have scars. I have them from the top of my head all the way down to my feet. While they are not things of beauty, they are reminders of healing. What once was torn is now mended.

At one time I hated the scars that line my body. However, the older I get the more they remind me of the battles I have fought. These are battles I have won. I know this because I am here to tell about them. Having surgery no longer frightens me as it did when I was a child. I must admit I kind of enjoy the feeling of anesthesia. It makes you feel like you are leaving your body just as you lose consciousness. Surgeries to me are just another opportunity to find victory.

This victory comes from knowing that my body will heal, as it has dozens of times. I know there will come a day when my body will give up the fight. The wounds will no longer physically heal. Despite this I will still have victory.

I have faith that I will be given a new body once I depart my earthly one. This new body will be free of scars. There will be no more pain or sorrow to endure. No more battles will need to be fought. I will be healed for an eternity.

So you see, scars are not ugly, they are what is left after healing has come. Likewise, they can be badges of honor if you choose to see them as such. If you are in a place where you are feeling defeated, look at your scars. You may have physical ones, or they may be mental scars. Let them remind you of the healing that has taken place. You’ll live to fight another day.

One of my favorite songs is by a band called Rush. The song is titled “One Little Victory.” To me this song perfectly captures what it feels like to struggle against the forces we often face. It is a song that helps to motivate me when I feel I am losing the battle. It helps to remind me that I have scars but that those are merely emblems of victory.

“One Little Victory”

July 9, 2020 5

America

First, I am proud to be an American. I live in a land where I am free to voice my opinion on the things that matter to me. I also have the freedom to vote for those who I want to represent me. My opinion may differ from your’s, but that is fine. I can respect you even if I don’t agree with you.

I feel as if respect for others is something we have lost. One thing that doesn’t help is that we all have been given a “bully pulpit” through social media. The term “bully pulpit” was coined by our 26th president Theodore Roosevelt. He used these words to describe the opportunity that he had as a public figure to speak out on the issues of his day. Roosevelt used the word “bully” to mean something that was magnificent or glorious. Sadly, “bully pulpit” has taken on a whole new meaning today.

One look at Facebook shows just how unkind we have become to each other. This is epecially true when arguments begin over political issues. We all have been given a “bully pulpit” from which we can spew hate, prejudice, and ignorance. We have moved so far away from the principles of our Founding Fathers. For instance, in his farewell address to the nation, George Washington warned about the division that political parties would bring.

Washington words have become quite prophetic: “However [political parties] may now and then answer popular ends, they are likely in the course of time and things, to become potent engines, by which cunning, ambitious, and unprincipled men will be enabled to subvert the power of the people and to usurp for themselves the reins of government, destroying afterwards the very engines which have lifted them to unjust dominion.” These words were written in 1796. However, they describe what is happening to America in 2020. We are coming apart at the seams.

I will admit my political leanings are more in the conservative direction. However, I would probably best be described as a libertarian. I believe our government has become an overreaching “big brother” that should leave us all to pursue life and liberty. This should be done in a way that is respectful of our nation’s constitution. Likewise, it should be done in a way that respects the rights of our fellow Americans. Finally, we should all act responsibly.

Our constitution gives us the right to speak our minds. However, it doesn’t give us the right to be cruel to others. We have lost our civility. We have used our “bully pulpit” to bash those who believe things that our contrary to what we believe. This needs to change. We can disagree with someone without hating them.

This weekend as Americans celebrate our independence, let’s take a step back and examine what this truly means. Let us use our freedom for good. Furthermore, let’s try to regain our civility as a people. We are one nation under God. In 1858, Abraham Lincoln, who was running for the U.S. Senate at the time, gave an address in Springfield, Illinois.

In this speech Lincoln used the words spoken by Jesus in the Gospel of Mark, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” Lincoln was addressing the issue of slavery, and the wedge that had been driven between those in favor and those who were opposed to this evil practice.

Today we are still divided, especially on issues related to race. However, that is just one of the many issues that separates us. I understand the passion with which people fight for the causes in which they believe. In fact, I admire the dedication individuals have in standing up for their principles. However, just because I believe one way doesn’t give you the right to demean me. Just as I have no right to demean you for your beliefs.

We should stop letting those in Washington D.C. divide us. It is quite apparent that many of our politicians are only out for their own interests. Our Founding Fathers never meant to create a system of “career politicians.” However, that is exactly what we have. Let us start using our “bully pulpits” for good. In the words of mothers everywhere, “if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say it.” Today, let not only freedom ring, but let peace and civility ring as well.

July 3, 2020 1

On the Road Again

If you have followed this blog for a while you know that I ride a hand-powered trike. It is something that I enjoy quite a bit. However, I’ve not been out for a while, as I have had some back pain. The problems with my back have greatly limited my mobility over the past few months.

Fortunately, I am beginning to regain my strength. Today, I went for my first ride since last August, or so the app that I use to track my rides tells me. It is difficult to imagine that it was the end of August last year when I stopped riding. I struggled today to get back into a rhythm. However, muscle memory is a great thing. It was not long before I was gaining back some of my momentum.

It was a short ride today. I did just under 4 miles. Last summer my average ride was about 10-12 miles. It will be a while until I am back up to those distances. I think for now I’ll just focus on building up my endurance. These last few months have not been kind to my body. I’ve not focused on my health in quite some time. Working from home and leading a largely sedentary lifestyle is what led to my back problems, I believe.

I hope today was the start of turning things around and becoming more active. I know my mental health could use a boost. Plus, it is fun to watch all the people stop and just watch as I go by, like I am some being that has landed here from another planet. I am just a guy who pedals his bike with his hands. If you see me out, give me a honk. Although, I may not hear you, as I usually am wearing my headphones. After all, I do have to be on standby in case the Mothership calls me back to our landing site.

July 1, 2020 0

I Put a Spell on You…

I am an avid user of social media. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram are all social media platforms that I utilize for various reasons. For instance, I use Facebook to stay connected with family and friends around the world. It is also a way to help me promote my blog, which is why I use Twitter and Instagram. A little self promotion never hurts, or so I thought until today.

Instagram is a form of social media of which I am becoming increasingly wary. It is very difficult to distinguish between people who are genuine and those who are simply out to scam others. To illustrate my point let me relate an incident that happened this morning on Instagram. I often have people that request to follow me. After looking at their profile I usually accept their request. However, I think I will be more selective from this point forward.

This morning I accepted a “follow” request from a “young lady” whose profile looked “normal” to me. Just as soon as I accepted “her” request, “she” started sending me direct messages through the site. This is despite the fact that I have a statement on my profile which says, “I do not accept DM’s,” as these are usually from people wanting to sell me something. The messages I received this morning were about applying for government grants. I work for the federal government, so I knew what this “young lady” was trying to sell me on was a scam.

I asked “her” to stop texting me as “I do not accept direct messages on Instagram.” This person persisted so I let them know I’d be blocking them. This is when I was threatened. The individual that was messaging me stated, “If you block me, there is a doctor here that will bring harm to you!” I then said “that is fine” and proceeded to block this person. I’m not sure how I should feel about all of this. At first I was a little amused.

However, throughout the day I began to evaluate my use of social media. I do have a “love/hate” relationship with all of it. Seeing the bickering that goes on between people on Facebook just frustrates me. Getting messages from scammers on Instagram just annoys me.

I think it is time to cut back on my usage of both. No longer will I let these sites cast their spell upon me. Once baseball season gets underway again I’ll be back to posting my commentary on various happenings with my beloved Chicago Cubs. Until then, I think I’ll just maintain a low profile. That way the “witch doctor” will have a harder time finding me.

June 26, 2020 0

A Day in the Life

I work in social services. As you might imagine that puts me in touch with dozens of people on a daily basis. Since the end of March I have been working from home. This means that all of my interactions with other people take place over the phone. If you’d have told me five years ago that my work would involve speaking to others on the phone all day, I would have called you crazy.

I’ve never really enjoyed talking on the phone. If I am going to have a conversation with someone, I’d much prefer it to be in person. I think this is because I like to be able to read body language. Plus, most of the time it is easier to communicate in person.

Many of the people I speak with on a daily basis don’t realize just how hard it can be to hear them. For instance, I hear all kinds of background noises, such as flushing toilets, barking dogs, screaming babies, and blaring televisions. I think I might have even heard someone trying to land a helicopter in their backyard once.

It is no surprise then that I often have to have the individuals with whom I speaking repeat much of what they say. This usually elicits an impatient response that is delivered at the speed of sound. For instance, just today I was interviewing someone and was unable to hear their response. They sarcastically spelled out the word using military lingo, such as “zero,” “tango,” “charlie,” and “alpha.” I was tempted to use some military jargon of my own and pretend to send in a team of commandos to apprehend “Mr Zero Tango Charlie Alpha.” However, I refrained and continued on as politely as I could.

Perhaps, one of the things that annoys me the most about speaking to others over the phone is how they just do not listen. I can answer a call, give the person my name and where my office is located. The first question out of their mouth is “where are you located?” I feel like telling them that I am in a call center located deep beneath the Pentagon. However, again I am polite and will repeat the information that I just gave them.

Working with the public can be a challenge. However, it also has its rewards. There are people who are very thankful for the services that I provide to them. I am happy to say that I have far more positive interactions with others, than I do the negative. It gives me hope that we have not completely lost our humanity.

June 24, 2020 3

Men of Integrity

I was fortunate to have grown up surrounded by men of integrity. My own father was a man who was honest and treated others with respect. He had faults, but I believe he acted with integrity in his dealings with other people. In addition, my father was someone who tried to make things right when he felt he had wronged another person. I believe the values that my dad had were passed down to him from his father, as my grandfather was also a man of integrity.

My grandfather, Oris Bradshaw, was born on August 23, 1908 in a small town called Whitehall, which is in Greene County, Illinois. The Bradshaws were some of the earliest settlers to this county, according to research I have done into my family genealogy. From historical accounts that I have read, the Bradshaws were known as virtuous people.

For instance, in a document that was published in 1879 by Donnelly, Gasette, and Lloyd my great-great grandfather, Perry Bradshaw, was described as “a member of the Christian Church, and is endeavoring to live a life that is in harmony with the principles he professes” (1879 History of Greene County Illinois). These traits were passed down to Perry’s son Shannon (my great-grandfather), who then passed them on to my grandfather Oris.

It is on this Father’s Day that I look to these men who lived lives of integrity. Amanda and I are raising a child through foster care. It is a privilege to be given the chance to shape this young life that has been entrusted to us. Although, my own father passed away while I was a boy, my grandfather was there to help guide me through my formative years. He is a man that I greatly admired and respected, as I believe he was the true definition of a husband and a father. Likewise, he was a great example of how a man should conduct himself. I hope I can instill the same values in Baby Boy that my grandfather did in me.

My grandfather was married twice. His first wife died when my Uncle Richard and my Aunt Shirley were both still children. He then met and married my grandmother, who gave birth to my father and to my Aunt Diane. Around the time of his first wife’s death, my grandfather was employed by Walgreen’s in Memphis, Tennessee. He had a very good position in the company. However, he gave this up, I believe, to move to Rock Falls, Illinois so that he could help his aging parents.

My grandfather then had a few different jobs once he moved to Rock Falls. For instance, he drove a delivery truck for the Coca-Cola Company, and he also worked at one of the local high schools as a custodian. He gave up a promising career with a major corporation, humbled himself, and did what was right for his family. He was one of the greatest men I have ever known.

I think my grandfather’s work ethic was passed on to my father, as he was a wonderful provider for my family and I. He was never afraid to work overtime to help the family make ends meet. In addition, my dad was a very skilled welder. He took on side jobs for people in his home workshop, often times charging people far below what the work was worth.

I know I have many shortcomings as a man. However, I was provided with great male role models as I was growing and maturing. I still have some today as well. Both of my brothers are great fathers. Likewise, my father-in-law is a man who shows his love for his family in so many ways.

In conclusion, I just want to say that those who have come before me have left a lasting legacy. I feel very blessed. Happy Father’s Day to all you who are fathers. Take care of your families. Leave a legacy for them of which they can be proud.

June 19, 2020 1

The Polite Elephant

As I mentioned in a previous post, I’ve been a fan of Richard Scarry since I was young boy. For those of you unfamilar with his work, he was a prolific author and illustrator of children’s books. The characters in his books were often anthropomorphized animals, who Scarry used to teach his readers various things, such as manners. One such book is called “Polite Elephant.” This is a book that we often read to Baby Boy.

It is a pleasant story about a young, male elephant who has impeccable manners. For instance, he always remembers to say “please” and “thank you.” Furthermore, when waiting “for the bus, he takes his place in line.” Likewise, he seems to be the perfect guest when visiting a friend’s home. Who wouldn’t want a friend like the “Polite Elephant?” There are just a few questions that I have.

First, we know he has a car, but he sometimes takes the bus. However, I am not sure how an elephant would drive a car since they don’t have hands. Perhaps this is the reason his car appears to have no steering wheel, at least on one page. If this is so, he maybe should just stick to riding the bus permanently.

Second, one of his friends is Mrs. Smith, a small mouse who lives in a house built out of a tree stump. The “Polite Elephant” goes to Mrs. Smith’s house, where we see him inside. I don’t know many elephants who would fit inside of a house so small.

Third, before sitting down to dinner with his mother, he washes his “hands” and face at the bathroom sink. Again, with no hands and fingers, how is he turning the knobs? I know, this is a children’s book and we are supposed to suspend our disbelief somewhat. However, it is difficult throughout this book.

Fourth, as noted above, the “Polite Elephant” has his own car. However, the relationship that he has with his mother still seems pretty childlike. For instance, he still calls her “mommy.” He also is still playing with children’s toys. Likewise, he introduces his friends to his mother, as if they have all come over to play after school. I don’t know many grade-school aged children who drive cars, do you?

Despite my questions this a good book that teaches children manners. The illustrations are enjoyable, but there are just those nagging questions that I have. Where is the steering wheel? How does the “Polite Elephant” drive with no hands? However, my biggest question is, why hasn’t he moved out yet and gotten a job?

He needs to put down the toys, grab the want ads, hop on the bus and make his way to some job interviews. With his people skills and the polite way in which he interacts with others, he’d make a great customer service representative.

June 13, 2020 0

Strange Days

If you are anything like me you might be asking yourself, “where have the last three months of my life gone?” Did we enter a time warp? It seems like just yesterday it was March, and today it is June. I think one thing that has seemed to speed up time is that we have lost a lot of the things that generally mark the months of the year for us. For instance, the whole world seemed to come to a halt on March 13, 2020, which was my birthday. Likewise, the professional baseball season has yet to get underway.

This is the time of year where teams either begin to go on a hot streak, or they begin to cool down after a lightning fast start in April and May. I miss turning on the radio and hearing the sounds of a Cubs game coming through the speakers. Baseball is a way to make sense of the world for me. Without it, every day just seems like a repeat of the previous one. I think it is that way with many things in life. We have our rituals and routines that help us structure our lives.

I must admit, it has been difficult to find new ways to bring a sense of order to life. I rarely have been behind the wheel of a car since I started to work from home in late March. In fact, I have not purchased a tank of gas for my car since February. The low fuel light is bound to come on one of these days, but who knows when. It has become sort of a game to me now. Likewise, I’ve not really worn a real pair of pants for at least two months. That might not be so much of a fun game when I do have to put on a pair of dress pants again.

I did visit my office this past Wednesday, but I felt very disconnected to the place while I was there. At this point, I think I’d rather just keep working from home. Why drive to work when you can be just as productive at home, if not more so? Plus, it cuts my commute time down from 9 minutes to around 2 minutes.

Not having attended church since March feels odd as well. Amanda and I do stream our weekly service through Facebook, but it just isn’t the same as meeting together in person. However, it is nice to stay in my pajamas and watch from the couch. Nonetheless, I do feel that I need the structure of actually physically going to church. Again, let’s just hope the pants fit once it is time to head back in person!

June 11, 2020 0