My dad died on September 2, 1989.  It has been almost thirty years since that dreadful morning.  My brothers and I were up past midnight when the phone rang.  It was my mother calling to tell us that our dad had passed away.  She was with my dad while he took his dying breath.  My two brothers and I got into my dad’s pickup truck and drove to the nursing home where my dad had spent the last few weeks of his life.  My brother Shannon refused to enter the room where my dad’s body lay, however, my brother Cory and I went in and saw him for the last time.  It is something that I regret doing, as I will never be able to erase the image of my dad’s lifeless body from my mind.

That morning is one that will stick with me as long as I live.  I can remember how it felt outside that morning.  I remember the smells in the nursing home, and I can remember the feelings of fear and uncertainty as we returned home.  What would life be like for all of us now?  What would it be like to live the rest of my life without a father? 

The months that preceded my father’s death were just as frightening.  At that time I wished I could just fast forward through it all and be an adult.  Here I am almost 30 years later.  I am now an adult.  I still have dreams on occasion that my dad is still alive.  I then wake up and am angry that he is not here. 

I feel as if my brothers and I were cheated.  We had to grow up without a dad who could show us how to be men.  My mother was cheated out of being able to grow old with the person that was the love of her life.  However, my dad was a man that took care of things before he died. He was always a man who was financially responsible.  Therefore, he left my mom without debt that she would have to carry while she tried to pick up the pieces for all of us. 

Being only 12 years old when my dad died, I never really got the chance to get to know him properly.  I do have good memories of him though.  There were times he would get home late from work on a Friday and we’d order pizza, although I was usually too tired to stay awake.  I also remember my dad being a hard worker.  He was a skilled welder and he provided well for my family and I. 

He also had a great sense of humor.  There were many Saturday nights spent around the dinner table while he told us stories of his life growing up, or about his days in the navy.  My dad was an honorable man.  He treated others with respect, and he was always willing to help a friend.  When he died there were hundreds of people that came to pay their respects.  Many of them recalled that he was a man of integrity.  My dad was not perfect, but he was an honest man, who worked hard to make a better life for his wife and children. 

This coming March I will be the same age my dad was when he died.  It is hard to imagine dying at such an early age.  I still feel rather young.  I have so much more living to do.  Why my dad couldn’t stay with us longer, I don’t know.  However, I can say that he was a man that I respect and that I will one day see again.  That brings comfort on days like this when we celebrate fathers.  My dad is in a place where there is no sorrow and where there is no pain.      

“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.” – Lucy Maud Montgomery

My family went on exactly three vacations as I was growing up. One was to the Ramada Inn that was just across the river from the town in which we lived. This is what is called a “staycation.” today. You might think this was less than spectacular, but it was actually quite memorable.

During our weekend stay at the Ramada Inn, the main activity on our agenda was swimming, at least for my brothers and I. Despite the fact that we were less than 20 minutes from home we had a lot of fun. It was during this weekend of swimming, swimming, and more swimming that I had one of my first tastes of powdered donuts.

My love affair with donuts began at that Ramada Inn. The hotel is still there, but it has changed hands from one franchise to another several times over the years. Despite this, I can still taste those powdery rings every time I pass by that building. I can also smell the chlorine of the pool. It was a “staycation” that had stuck with me over the years.

The second trip my family went on was to Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Illinois. The memories of this trip are a bit more hazy. However, I believe my dad lost his glasses on one of the water rides.  I am not sure what it is with Bradshaw men losing their glasses in water, but it does seem to be a trend (see “Patience” – Part 2). 

While at Great America I also met Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam, which was kind of surreal. I had only ever seen these characters in television cartoons. But there they were in living color.  Plus they were much, much larger in real life, which was confusing to the mind of a little boy.   

To this day I despise amusement parks. I am not sure if this hatred originated on this particular vacation, but it is a distinct possibility. At this point in my young life I was still getting around by pushing a walker. While at an amusement park this is no easy task. There are uneven surfaces everywhere, and thousands of people through which to navigate. To make matters worse there were no powdered donuts to be seen anywhere!

Our final trip as a family was to Rapid City, South Dakota, along with a fewer smaller towns in Minnesota. My dad was a fan of Westerns starring Clint Eastwood and John Wayne, and he enjoyed tales of the Wild West. Therefore, we visited several places on this trip where outlaws committed their notorious crimes.  One such place was Northfield, Minnesota.

This small town is the site of a raid by the James-Younger Gang on the First National Bank of Northfield, which occurred on September 7, 1876. The James-Younger Gang was comprised of Jesse and Frank James, along with Bob, Cole, Jim Younger, and a few other less notorious men. This robbery was thwarted by employees of the bank, and all members of the gang were either killed or wounded.  Jesse and Frank were the only members of the gang to make a successful escape. It was fascinating to go inside the bank where this infamous event took place.                

While in South Dakota we visited several tourist traps, such as the Corn Palace.  This concert venue/arena is located in Mitchell, South Dakota and is decorated on the outside with murals made entirely out of corn. We also stopped at Wall Drug, which is basically a shopping mall with all kinds of knickknacks related to the Wild West. Almost as soon as you enter South Dakota you see signs encouraging you to visit Wall Drug, which you should if you are ever in this part of the country.  Order yourself a bison burger and an ice-cold glass of water.  On a hot day, there is nothing like a cold, refreshing glass of the water at Wall Drug! 

We also traveled through the Badlands and the Black Hills. South Dakota is full of natural beautiful. It is also home to Mt. Rushmore a national memorial featuring a massive sculpture that depicts four of America’s greatest presidents: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln.

The faces of these men were carved into Mount Rushmore between 1927 to 1941. It is an awe-inspiring place to visit, especially on a day when the skies are brilliant shade of blue, as they were the day we visited. The enormity of the sculpture is rather breathtaking.

I think one of the best parts of this vacation was that it was one where my dad enjoyed seeing things he had only ever read about or seen depicted in movies. We also got to visit Ellsworth Air Force Base, which is home to the B1 bomber, an aircraft that played an important role during the Cold War with the Soviet Union.

Many memories were made on this trip, which made it all the more special. For, little did we know at the time, these would be some of the last memories that we’d create with my dad. It was nearly a year later that he found out that he was dying of leukemia.  This disease would take his life within a year. Take the time to make memories with your family. Time is precious and life is very fragile.