The Orphans

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” – Jane Howard

I always wanted to marry an orphan.  Little did I know, so did my wife.  We both had the same motive for wanting to marry an orphan.  Neither one of us wanted to be obligated to spend holidays with another family. Amanda and I have been married for nearly seven years and I think there are times when we both still wish we had married an orphan.

My wife grew up in St. Louis, which is approximately 250 miles from where we now live.  Therefore, when we travel down to St. Louis, we are in the car for at least 4 hours each way.  Throughout most of the trip the only thing you see are corn fields, and the occasional truck stop. 

Going to family functions in St. Louis is quite different than the ones to which I am accustomed.  Each of Amanda’s parents are one of eight children.  Therefore, there are dozens of aunts, uncles, and cousins.  I love my in-laws very much.  They are both very giving people.  In the dictionary next to “hospitality” are pictures of Amanda’s parents, Dan and Judith.  At each major holiday they invite everyone over.  There are usually 40-50 people at every gathering. 

I believe the first holiday that I spent with Amanda’s family was Easter.  I was shell-shocked to be with so many people under one roof.  This is because while I was growing up my family gatherings were much smaller.  However, I have grown used to these large gatherings.  I enjoy playing games, eating, and just spending time with everyone.  However, for an introvert like me, these events do sap my energy. 

Amanda’s first introduction to my family was at my 34th birthday party.  I think for her, it was hard to adjust to being with such a small group, where more attention was focused on her.  She was no longer able to blend into the woodwork.    

This Easter we will be spending time in St. Louis.  I just wish one of us had our pilot’s license so that we could fly down.  It would enable us to visit more often.  Amanda gave up a lot when she moved to the barren wasteland that is Northwest Illinois.  I know that she misses seeing her family.  However, I am glad that we met, because she is the perfect woman for me.  She is a kind and loving woman. 

I am glad that we both were willing to expand our horizons.  We both come from great families.  It has been fun getting to know Amanda’s clan.  Amanda’s dad is a great storyteller, and her mom makes some of the best cookies I have ever tasted.  I am thankful that I did not marry an orphan because I would have missed out on the love Amanda has shown me.  I too would have missed out on becoming part of a great family.