parenting – Put the Crippled Kid up Front…

This week has been particularly challenging. Monday was fine. However, on Tuesday things got turned upside down a bit. Our Little Fighter went to the pediatrician to get some routine immunizations. When I came home from work on Tuesday, he was pretty lethargic and was quite warm.

After feeding him a bottle around 5:30, he turned an ashen gray and started having trouble breathing. Amanda rushed out the door with him and took him to the ER. I followed soon after. Thankfully, my mom was at our house so she could watch Baby Boy.

It was difficult to watch all of the poking and prodding being done to Our Little Fighter, as they began to run tests on him in the ER. I was wishing I could take his place with all of the needle pokes to his tiny body. I now can empathize with my parents who spent countless hours with me in the hospital when I was younger. It is frightening when something is happening over which you have no control.

Once all of the testing was done, acute respiratory distress was the diagnosis. However, we have no idea why it happened. Children born with trisomy 18 can have respiratory problems that can lead to sudden death. Therefore, Our Little Fighter was sent to OSF Children’s Hospital in Peoria for observation on Tuesday night. Fortunately, he was able to come home on Wednesday evening. However, we still don’t have any real answers.

Yesterday, he did fine here at home. Today, he seems to be doing better still. However, there is now always going to be a question as to if and when he will stop breathing again. Pray for peace of mind for all of us.

Baby Boy has been learning a lot of new skills lately. As his father, I too am learning a few new tricks of the trade. If you’ve ever been to a concert, you certainly have seen a “roadie” at work. They are the individuals who haul pieces of musical equipment to various venues, set it up, and make sure it is ready to go for the night’s performance.

I too am a “roadie,” except I work a little closer to home each night. In fact, I don’t have to leave my bathroom. Baby Boy has a set of toothbrushes. One features Sesame Street’s “Cookie Monster,” while the other has a picture of “Elmo.” It is my job to fine tune these instruments. Essentially, that means putting a dab of training toothpaste on each brush, as he likes to use both each night. Then it is time to watch the maestro at work.

I wish I could say it is like watching a great guitar virtuoso perform a jaw-dropping solo. However, it is more like viewing a road construction crew on an Illinois highway in the dead of summer. Lots of digging around in holes, but not much actual work being done. I think the best part is watching him rinse each brush and toss it back in the drawer. For this is when he usually finds both of Amanda’s brushes and decides he will perform an encore for his audience of one. This is generally done sans toothpaste.

It makes me nervous when he exits the bathroom while eyeing the toilet brush. I begin to wondering if he thinks he should grab that and end the night with a real showstopper. If that happens, I think I’ll take a page out of Jimi Hendrix’s notebook and set fire to all of the brushes in the house.

A common problem for those who were born with spina bifida is infertility. This is an issue that can cause a lot of frustration and heartache. Amanda and I have undergone various tests and procedures in order to try and conceive a baby. However, nothing that we have tried has proven successful. Therefore, after much thought and prayer we have decided to take on the challenge of becoming foster parents. We hope that this will lead to adoption in the future.

We have taken classes in order to become licensed foster parents in the State of Illinois. I can say that these classes have not been very fun, as a lot of the material is fairly dry. Also, a lot of it is common sense, as Amanda and I were both raised in homes where good parenting was modeled. Despite this I think it has been a good experience, for it has given us insight into various things. For instance, we have been exposed to the types of issues children who are placed into foster care have when they come into a new home.

Having worked as a high school guidance counselor for several years, I am aware of the problems that children can have at home. I have spoken to students whose parents are alcoholics or drug addicts. I have also seen kids who have been abused or neglected. Seeing these things firsthand has made me a little apprehensive at times in taking on the challenge of fostering a child. However, I am also excited about the experiences that are in store for Amanda and I.

Do I think it will be easy? No, in fact, I am sure there will be days where I will feel like throwing my hands up in frustration. Will I ride away on my bike to get away from the situation as my mom once did when my brothers and I were fighting? That is a distinct possibility, but I’ll always come back, as I am not a quitter. Oh, and by the way, if you know my mom, you should ask her about the bicycle story. It is one of my favorite memories to look back on and remind her of on occasion.

Anyway, I am sure once we are through the licensing process things will start to move fairly quickly. However, I know that with God’s help we can make it through the challenges that we will face. I am just hoping our cats don’t go into hiding on a permanent basis.

Tag: parenting

Peace of Mind

Fasten Your Seatbelts, It’s Going to be a Bumpy Ride!