Ruh-Roh Raggy

When I was a young boy I’d get up early on Saturday mornings, grab a pillow and a blanket. Then I would make my way to the living room to turn on the TV. I loved Saturday morning cartoons. Some of my favorites included Scooby Doo, Transformers, G.I. Joe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Richie Rich. This was escapism at its best. Nothing to do and nowhere to go except to help Scooby, Shaggy, Fred, Velma, and Daphne solve another mystery. Those “meddling kids” knew how to entertain. The cartoons of today just don’t have the same substance. In fact, many of them just leave me with more questions than answers.

Having a toddler in the house has led us to new places such as Adventure Bay, where Ryder and his team of pups known as the Paw Patrol live. Adventure Bay seems like a great place to live until you realize their police force consists of a team of dogs led by a little boy. Oh yes, they are all quite capable and are very well equipped. In fact, they are probably the best equipped fighting force in the world, except for the United States military. Which leads me to wonder, who is funding the Paw Patrol?

This team of crime-fighting pups has a plethora of vehicles, tools, and equipment. The people of Adventure Bay must pay some pretty hefty taxes. It is a good thing Ryder and the Paw Patrol are always there to save the day, as this town has a pretty inept mayor. Mayor Goodway and her pet hen, Chickaletta probably should be removed from office. Which begs the question, why haven’t Ryder and the Paw Patrol staged a coup against the mayor? Perhaps, the Scooby-Doo crew could pile into the Mystery Machine and head down to Adventure Bay to solve this puzzling mystery. After this, they could help me answer some further questions, such as why is Baby Shark so popular?

Sure, Baby Shark has a catchy tune, but it has no other redeeming qualities. According Wikipedia, this cartoon originated “as a campfire song,” which went viral after “a South Korean entertainment company, released a version of the song with a YouTube music video” in 2016. It has since morphed into other videos featuring Baby Shark and his friend Pinkfong, who is a pink fox.

I cannot tell you how many times I have seen the full-length feature “film,” Baby Shark’s Space Adventure. This is the tall tale of Baby Shark and Pinkfong losing their way as they both travel back to their home planets. Along the way they visit other planets, where Baby Shark inexplicably glides through the air. How does Baby Shark survive out of the water? Furthermore, how did a land creature (Pinkfong) and an ocean-dwelling creature (Baby Shark) become such good friends? Moreover, why are they travelling the galaxy together? So many questions, no real answers. Which brings me back to my original point. Today’s cartoons have little to no substance. For instance, they provide no origin stories.

I know how The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles gained the ability to practice martial arts, because this was explained in the cartoons and the comic books. Likewise, I know how G.I. Joe became a soldier because, again, we were given a backstory. Today’s cartoons are mostly style over substance, which is in large part a reflection of culture in America. I want to go back to 1984 for a minute, maybe I can catch a ride in the Mystery Machine. Does anyone have Scooby-Doo’s cell phone number?