The Toothbrush Roadie

Baby Boy has been learning a lot of new skills lately. As his father, I too am learning a few new tricks of the trade. If you’ve ever been to a concert, you certainly have seen a “roadie” at work. They are the individuals who haul pieces of musical equipment to various venues, set it up, and make sure it is ready to go for the night’s performance.

I too am a “roadie,” except I work a little closer to home each night. In fact, I don’t have to leave my bathroom. Baby Boy has a set of toothbrushes. One features Sesame Street’s “Cookie Monster,” while the other has a picture of “Elmo.” It is my job to fine tune these instruments. Essentially, that means putting a dab of training toothpaste on each brush, as he likes to use both each night. Then it is time to watch the maestro at work.

I wish I could say it is like watching a great guitar virtuoso perform a jaw-dropping solo. However, it is more like viewing a road construction crew on an Illinois highway in the dead of summer. Lots of digging around in holes, but not much actual work being done. I think the best part is watching him rinse each brush and toss it back in the drawer. For this is when he usually finds both of Amanda’s brushes and decides he will perform an encore for his audience of one. This is generally done sans toothpaste.

It makes me nervous when he exits the bathroom while eyeing the toilet brush. I begin to wondering if he thinks he should grab that and end the night with a real showstopper. If that happens, I think I’ll take a page out of Jimi Hendrix’s notebook and set fire to all of the brushes in the house.

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Laying My Burden Down

I am scared. Life is full of ups and downs. One moment things seem to be fine. Then the next everything changes. In these moments writing has always been very therapeutic for me. Therefore, I am going to let my fingers do the talking today.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Amanda and I have taken in a new foster child. This baby was born with the mosaic form of trisomy 18, which means some of his cells have three copies of chromosome 18 while other cells have two copies of chromosome 18. This defect in the cells can lead to a host of developmental problems. No one really knows precisely in which cells the chromosomal abnormalities are present.

Currently, Our Little Fighter’s only visible issue is a cleft lip, which makes feeding a little more difficult. His breathing is also a bit labored. However, he sleeps, poops, and pees just like any other baby. What scares me is that the prognosis for babies born with trisomy 18 is very poor. Only between 10-15% of children with this condition live past their first birthday.

Life has thrown a lot at us since December of 2019. That is when we first became foster parents. Shortly after that the world seemed to come to a standstill due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Through this period my work life has changed a lot. The office where I work has lost two employees to retirement. One transferred to another office. Three others left to pursue other careers. Then, this past Tuesday I found out the manager of my office opted for early retirement and was gone the same day. Needless to say, there is a lot of uncertainty in life at the moment.

I wish I could say I knew how to deal with all of this better. Fortunately, Amanda and I have great support from family and friends. However, the uncertainty remains. We have had our first foster child for over 2.5 years now. To us he is our’s. I love him like I never knew that I could. He is still a ward of the state officially, which scares me more than anything else. Any day he could leave us and be given back to his birth parents.

I have to put all of this in God’s hands. Mine are not big enough to carry this load. He is faithful and just. My head says to trust Him and His will. However, my flesh is so very weak. My middle name is Thomas for good reason. I am filled with doubt on a daily basis.

There is an old spiritual song that has been covered by musicians across several genres of music. I believe I first became aware of the song via a recording done by Mississippi John Hurt, a blues musician who passed away in the mid 1960’s. The song is about laying down the hardships of life now and focusing on the good that is yet to come, especially in a spiritual sense.

This is something I still struggle with on a daily basis. Just when I go to “lay my burden down” I pick it right back up again. Hopefully, one of these days I’ll truly realize my hands are not big enough and I’ll “lay all of my my burdens down.” I do believe better days are ahead.

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Notes from the Road

It has been an eventful week, but we have returned home after a restful vacation in New Jersey. After nearly 2,000 miles and countless hours in the car, we are back where we belong. It always feels great to be home after time away, even after an enjoyable journey. I made a few observations along the way that I would like to share.

First, having been born and raised in Illinois, I am always amazed at how much better things are done in other states. For instance, in Indiana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, there are several convenient travel plazas along the interstate. Most of these are very clean and have a lot to offer weary travelers. Illinois has very few of these, and the ones that are available are nowhere near as nice. Where does the money go from the tolls that motorists pay when travelling through Illinois?

Second, there are still a lot of good people in the world, despite what you may see on TV. Amanda and I met lots of kind people in New Jersey that were willing to take a few minutes out of their day to talk. Sitting outside a donut shop in downtown Asbury Park, we were greeted by several friendly people just out for a stroll. It costs nothing to be kind, other than a little time.

Third, it is always good to be with family. We may not see eye to eye on everything. Likewise, we may get on each other’s nerves from time to time. However, there is nothing like the love of a family. I am proud to say I have a great family both near and far.

Finally, can we stop putting gumball machines inside every travel plaza across the country? It seems like in every plaza we visited there were gumball machines just inside the door. At each machine stood kids who were much too young begging their parents for a quarter. Whoever came up with this idea must be making millions! On second thought, maybe Illinois could use some of these. Perhaps our schools and other essential services would then be adequately funded. If not at least we’d keep the dentists in business.

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Still Life at 80mph

As I write this I am laying in bed in a hotel room in Florham Park, New Jersey. The TV is on and I am unwinding after a long day of travel. On Tuesday we will head south with my brother and his family to spend a few days along the Jersey Shore. Travelling is something that we love to do, as it is a great way to make memories.

Yesterday, we left home, picked up my mother, who lives just a few blocks away from us. We then headed for Strongsville, Ohio. This is approximately halfway between our home in Illinois and my brother’s house in New Jersey. Memories have already been made, and a third-degree misdemeanor was accidently committed.

After hitting the road around 8 a.m. this morning, we made our way across the eastern side of Ohio. We then entered Pennsylvania, which is actually quite a beautiful state through which to travel. Around noon we stopped for lunch at a Dutch Pantry. This appears to be a franchise popular along I-80 in Pennsylvania.

This chain of restaurants could best be described as Pennsylvania’s version of the Cracker Barrel. In other words, the lobby was filled with chachkies no one needs, and the menu was filled with dishes considered, “homestyle.” However, the silverware was really nice, as one of us (not me) decided to walk out with a set. Sadly, this was not the most heinous crime of the day.

My mother, who is in her 70’s, has a smartphone. Today, as we passed particular landmarks, she would snap photos with the camera on her phone. I’m not sure she was very successful. She takes decent photos with her when she is stationary. However, get her in an SUV going down the highway at 80 mph and things are not so pretty, especially through a bug-spattered windshield. By the time a subject was in focus, we were already passed it by a mile or two. When I asked my mom to send me a few of the shots she took she refused. My suspicion is that she got some nice candids of insects entrails and nothing else.

We travelled over 400 miles today, a restaurant is down one set of silverware, I’m exhausted, but I am still curious to see what the rest of this week brings. Tomorrow, we begin with an Independence Day parade. The pictures should be better, as my mom will be standing still.

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A Love Letter…

Amanda and I will have been married ten years in August. I feel blessed to call her my wife for so many reasons. She is such a caring person who has taught me a lot about life. Perhaps, the most important thing I have learned is to love those who are broken.

I was born with spina bifida, which has left my body broken. Despite this Amanda loves me unconditionally. Through this I have learned to see beauty in brokeness. Amanda has an ability to see the potential in things that I would just toss aside. This has often led me to dip my toes in waters I would never have dared if left to my own devices. For instance, approximately five years ago we entered the world of foster care.

Amanda and I began our foster care journey by taking classes to become licensed foster parents. At this point I was very apprehensive. Having worked with troubled teens as a school counselor, I was unsure I wanted to open our home to children who were considered “broken” in some way. However, I learned that leaving my comfort zone was not a bad thing at all. I am so fortunate that I did, otherwise, I would have missed a wonderful opportunity.

When we decided to open our home to foster children we were told to not expect a baby. However, the first child that came to us was a three-day-old baby boy. He since has become our world. I never expected to love a foster child as much as I do Baby Boy. Even though he is not our flesh and blood, he is our’s nonetheless. I could not imagine life without him now.

When I was born my parents were not sure how long I’d live, or what quality of life I’d have. They simply brought me home, loved me, and raised me as best as they knew how. They, like Amanda, were willing to see past my brokeness and love me.

Two weeks ago Amanda and I were contacted and asked if we would be willing to take in another foster child. This time it is a six-week-old boy, who was born with Trisomy 18 or Edwards Syndrome. In short, this is a disorder that causes a disruption in the normal pattern of development. These abnormalities are often life-threatening even before the baby is born. Likewise, they severely limit the lifespan of those with this syndrome. We don’t know how long this child will live. However, this is a life that needs love. This “broken” baby needs a home where he will be showered with love. With much thought and prayer we have decided to open our hearts to this new life.

No one knows what will happen. However, we have love to give to this baby. We also have the love and support of family and friends. Whatever happens we have assurance from God that this is His plan for us and for this child. Once again we step outside of our comfort zone. However, we know that love can overcome brokeness.

One thing that God has taught me time and time again is that where He leads His grace provides. God’s grace is always sufficient.

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Ruh-Roh Raggy

When I was a young boy I’d get up early on Saturday mornings, grab a pillow and a blanket. Then I would make my way to the living room to turn on the TV. I loved Saturday morning cartoons. Some of my favorites included Scooby Doo, Transformers, G.I. Joe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Richie Rich. This was escapism at its best. Nothing to do and nowhere to go except to help Scooby, Shaggy, Fred, Velma, and Daphne solve another mystery. Those “meddling kids” knew how to entertain. The cartoons of today just don’t have the same substance. In fact, many of them just leave me with more questions than answers.

Having a toddler in the house has led us to new places such as Adventure Bay, where Ryder and his team of pups known as the Paw Patrol live. Adventure Bay seems like a great place to live until you realize their police force consists of a team of dogs led by a little boy. Oh yes, they are all quite capable and are very well equipped. In fact, they are probably the best equipped fighting force in the world, except for the United States military. Which leads me to wonder, who is funding the Paw Patrol?

This team of crime-fighting pups has a plethora of vehicles, tools, and equipment. The people of Adventure Bay must pay some pretty hefty taxes. It is a good thing Ryder and the Paw Patrol are always there to save the day, as this town has a pretty inept mayor. Mayor Goodway and her pet hen, Chickaletta probably should be removed from office. Which begs the question, why haven’t Ryder and the Paw Patrol staged a coup against the mayor? Perhaps, the Scooby-Doo crew could pile into the Mystery Machine and head down to Adventure Bay to solve this puzzling mystery. After this, they could help me answer some further questions, such as why is Baby Shark so popular?

Sure, Baby Shark has a catchy tune, but it has no other redeeming qualities. According Wikipedia, this cartoon originated “as a campfire song,” which went viral after “a South Korean entertainment company, released a version of the song with a YouTube music video” in 2016. It has since morphed into other videos featuring Baby Shark and his friend Pinkfong, who is a pink fox.

I cannot tell you how many times I have seen the full-length feature “film,” Baby Shark’s Space Adventure. This is the tall tale of Baby Shark and Pinkfong losing their way as they both travel back to their home planets. Along the way they visit other planets, where Baby Shark inexplicably glides through the air. How does Baby Shark survive out of the water? Furthermore, how did a land creature (Pinkfong) and an ocean-dwelling creature (Baby Shark) become such good friends? Moreover, why are they travelling the galaxy together? So many questions, no real answers. Which brings me back to my original point. Today’s cartoons have little to no substance. For instance, they provide no origin stories.

I know how The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles gained the ability to practice martial arts, because this was explained in the cartoons and the comic books. Likewise, I know how G.I. Joe became a soldier because, again, we were given a backstory. Today’s cartoons are mostly style over substance, which is in large part a reflection of culture in America. I want to go back to 1984 for a minute, maybe I can catch a ride in the Mystery Machine. Does anyone have Scooby-Doo’s cell phone number?

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Oh Deer!

I’m quite certain that our new neighbors think I am insane. What else could they be thinking after this evening? I just came back inside from using a sledgehammer on a deer lawn ornament. This is a “piece” we inherited when we bought our new house.

There were actually two, however, baby deer fit in our trash can and was hauled away this afternoon. Father deer is too big to fit inside the trash can in one piece. So, I thought I’d break him up into little pieces using a sledgehammer. As I was doing this, I could see my neighbor in her kitchen preparing dinner. However, I am certain she was also keeping an eye on me.

When I do things outside I usually roll around in a wheelchair. Furthermore, I dislike wearing coats, even when it is cold. So, I was outside, where it is quite brisk. I was wearing a t-shirt and wielding a sledgehammer from my wheelchair. Yes, someone would come and get this deer if I asked. However, I’m stubborn and I would rather take care of it myself. Plus, it is fun to wonder what the neighbors might be thinking.

Father deer is now headless and sitting in our garage. If anyone tries to break in it might be enough to frighten them away, as it looks like a headless dog laying folded up on the floor. He has met his match. I will be back out tomorrow with my sledgehammer, and possibly a sweatshirt.

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When One Door Closes, Another Opens

One door is closing for our little family. However, another one is opening. We will be leaving our much loved two-story house on Saturday. It was nearly nine years ago that we moved into our current home. This house is cozy and it has a lot of character. Unfortunately, it is not very handicap accessible. Likewise, we have begun to outgrow it. So, for the last month we have been loading our lives into boxes. It is amazing how much stuff can accumulate over the course of several years.

This house holds so many good memories. It was the first house that Amanda and I shared as husband and wife. It has kept us warm in the winter. It has sheltered us from the storms of life. This house has been a retreat from the world around us. It is where we welcomed Baby Boy. He will be two years old in December. He took his first steps through these halls. He spoke his first words in these rooms. When we leave on Saturday, we will unpack our boxes and breathe new life into a much bigger house.

Our new house will be a place to create new memories. Likewise, we plan to add on to our family. Our house will become a home just like our existing house. I am excited to see Baby Boy running through the halls while opening each new door. There are lots of closets, so he will have many new nooks and crannies to explore.

Turning over the keys to this house will bring mixed emotions. However, I can’t wait too see what the future will bring. God has blessed us and I know He will continue to do so. Come and see us sometime. We will leave a light on for you.

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When One Door Closes, Another Closes

Alexander Graham Bell once said, “When one door closes, another opens.” This is a rather optimistic viewpoint. I am sure it helped drive this great inventor to keep experimenting, despite repeated failures. Without this drive Bell might have just given up and abandoned his invention of the telephone.

We have our own little experimenter in the Bradshaw house. His viewpoint is just as optimistic, however, I think he operates under the assumption that when one door closes, another closes. You might be asking what I mean by this.

Baby Boy has learned to open and close doors. However, I think he prefers a closed door to an open one. To him he feels a sense of accomplishment when he is able to close a door. I can appreciate this because it means he is learning how things work. If he can’t figure it out he will keep trying until he does.

This sense of exploration reminds me that a closed door is sometimes very useful, as it can spur us to try new ways of doing things. I learn something new every day from this little boy that God has entrusted to us. A closed door is not always a bad thing. It can teach us to keep going despite obstacles.

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Building a Career in Business: Tips for People With Disabilities

The following is a very informative article written by guest contributor, Ed Carter. Ed is a retired financial planner, who has his own site full of great information. Be sure to check out his website for more financial tips (ablefutures.)

Choosing a career path is always a bit of a struggle, but when you have a disability, there are several things to consider. Can you find a position that accommodates your disability? Can you access the education or training you need? And, most importantly, which career will bring you the most success and happiness in the long run? Having a disability shouldn’t stop you from thriving in the career of your dreams.

If you’re not quite sure which direction to take your professional life, consider a career in business! Want to learn more? Here are some great tips to help you enjoy success in the business world.

Why Consider a Career in Business?

A business career is an excellent option for people with disabilities. People with business credentials are always in high demand across a range of industries from media to healthcare, so you shouldn’t have any problems finding a business job that aligns with your needs and abilities. If you’re looking for a secure and stable job that will offer the flexibility you need, it doesn’t get much better than a career in business. Plus, you should be able to find work in almost any geographic location, switching between jobs is easy, and you will enjoy incredible opportunities for advancement! 

Pursue an Education

Before you can secure your position in the business world, you will need to earn your credentials. Earning a business degree is an obvious choice, but it’s not your only option! You could also pursue a degree in something similar, like accounting or information technology. It’s easy to earn your degree online and skip the hassle of commuting to college or navigating a classroom with a disability. 

If you want that traditional college experience, take advantage of tools that will make your education as accessible as possible. You will want to spend some time planning solutions for anticipated challenges, especially if you will live on campus. Self.com recommends finding out which support services are available to you through your school’s disability office and learning how to access mental health services on your campus. Self-care is key! 

Choose Your Professional Path

As mentioned earlier, there are many diverse work opportunities for people with degrees in business or IT. You can work in a variety of environments and industries. But how do you choose? The best advice we can give you is to go after a career that falls somewhere between your talents and interests. This could mean pursuing a challenging job with a high earning potential, a computer job you can do from home, a position that lets you hone your interpersonal skills in a social environment, or something else entirely!

The best path for you will depend on your unique needs and wants, so spend some time thinking about your strengths and what makes you feel happiest. For example, if you love working with people, a role in human resources or consulting might be perfect. If you have a creative flair, a job in marketing may suit you better. Have a knack for technology? Working in cybersecurity, IT consulting, data science, web development, network administration, QA services, or computer support might appeal to you. All of these jobs are incredibly accommodating for people with disabilities, and you can find work through online freelance platforms.

Get Your Foot in the Door

So you’ve chosen a career path and an education program. But how do you find your first job? And will your disability hurt your chances of landing that entry-level role or internship? First and foremost, make sure you understand your rights as you hunt for your first job. You are entitled to the same opportunities as people without disabilities and employers cannot discriminate against you for any reason. In fact, your employer is required to make any reasonable accommodations that will help you do your job!

Navigating the job hunt can present a number of hurdles for people with disabilities. Facing mobility issues when interviewing is a common one. If you require special accommodations for the interview, be sure to discuss this with the hiring manager before the big day. Alternatively, you may be able to persuade them to hold the interview over video chat! 

Launch Your Own Business

If finding the perfect job is proving difficult, consider creating a job for yourself by launching your own business. Self-employment is a very popular choice among people with disabilities. By running your own business, you get to work in a role that perfectly fits your interests and personal capabilities — and it offers you full control of your financial future!

Often, the hardest part about starting a business is coming up with a business idea. Keep it simple and stick to your talents! For example, if you enjoy IT or business management, consider becoming a professional consultant and helping other entrepreneurs run their businesses more effectively. If you like marketing, launch a marketing agency or sell your services on a freelance basis. Your options are endless! Don’t be afraid to play around with different business models until you find one that feels right for you.

Your disability should not hold you back from the career of your dreams. If your goal is to work in business, you have countless options and opportunities to consider! You could go after a corporate job, seek a remote role, become a freelancer, or launch your own business. Not sure where to start? Going to school online is a great place to discover your skills and interests so you can better map out your professional goals.

Whether you’re heading to university or you’re ready to start your dream job, make sure you have the accessibility tools you need to thrive.

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