Tag: love

Paint Your Pets and Other Love Stories

Yesterday I met the love of my life. Well, it only seems like yesterday. However, it was actually 10 years ago yesterday. Amanda and I met for the first time on February 13, 2010. She was, and still is, a St. Louis girl. We were introduced through my cousin Brad, who was Amanda’s pastor at the time.

Our relationship began through late-night chats on Facebook, and then progressed to nightly phone calls that would last for several hours at a time. About a month after phone calls, texts, and Facebook messages we decided to meet face-to-face.

I decided I would travel to St. Louis from my home in Sterling, Illinois. It is approximately a 4-hour drive, so I had a long time to think about what our first meeting would be like. Would Amanda run and hide when she saw me for the first time? Would I be so nervous I would be unable to speak? These are some of the things that were racing through my mind as the miles began to melt away.

After a few hours I arrived at my cousin Brad’s house. This is where Amanda and I would meet for the first time. After settling in Amanda arrived at the door. Fortunately, she did not run away when she saw me. However, she thought about it as she heard me creak my way across the floor. I’ll never find work as a ninja, as my crutches squeak too much as I walk.

I think it helped that Amanda and I had spoken on the phone quite a bit before meeting for the first time, as it helped to make face-to-face conversation flow more effortlessly. Amanda and I had an easy time getting to know each other as we had lunch. We then went to the art museum, stopped for a cupcake at The Cup, a little shop that makes the best cupcakes ever! We then ended the night with The King’s Speech, a movie that we have since adopted as “our movie.” The next day we spent some time at the zoo. Simply put, it was a perfect weekend.

Amanda and I spent the next several months getting to know each other. I then asked her to marry me. Fortunately, she said yes, and we tied the knot on August 11, 2012. About a week later I started a new job in Northen Illinois and Amanda returned to St. Louis. For the first few months of our marriage Amanda and I only saw each other on the weekends. This was a very difficult situation, However, it only lasted until October when Amanda moved north to join me. In December 2012, we purchased our house and have added two cats to our lives since.

Amanda and I enjoyed being with each other that very first day, and we still enjoy being together. Today is Valentine’s Day, but we did not exchange gifts. However, we were together. That has been enough and will always be enough for each of us.

This morning we took a painting class together. We each painted a portrait of our cats, Dot and Cat. I chose Dot, and Amanda painted Cat. You can see the results below. I think I’ll hold on to my day job, as an artist I will never be.

Learning to live with another person was an adjustment for the both of us. I like organization. Amanda enjoys spreading her things throughout the house. This isn’t always easy for me. However, my stubborness is not something she always enjoys about me either. However, I can still say that Amanda is easy to be with. We laugh and we cry together. However, we are always together.

Being one has helped us adapt to our newest challenge, foster care. Since December 29th, we have been the proud foster parents of a sweet baby boy. He has transformed our lives. Sleep is hard to come by these days, but love is always there, even amongst the frustration of poopy diapers and midnight feedings.

We are now three, plus two cats. Love is never in short supply in our house. We are together and that is enough for all of us. Material things are good to have, and we have been blessed with far more than we deserve. However, time is the most important thing. Time is what allows us to create memories. Ten years of memories has made me a rich man. I am rich because I have a woman who loves me despite my faults.

Dot looks like a cross between a fox and an owl. Cat on the hand looks pretty good. Amanda is clearly the one with more artistic talent.

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Hopes

Baby Boy is a month old today. He is growing and becoming more aware of his surroundings every day. He is still ours and it is fun to see him grow out of clothes that fit him just a few weeks ago. Clothes he was once “swimming in” fit him just perfectly now. He is such a long, little boy. He uses those long legs to his advantage during a diaper change.

It is still difficult to imagine that one day he may be taken from us. This realization becomes harder to accept with each passing day. Amanda and I are his parents. We feed him, we clothe him, and we love him like he is our own.

Baby Boy and I have some good weekend “chats” as he lays on my chest in the morning. Of course, I am the one doing all of the talking. He just coos, grunts, and puckers his lips as he listens. I hope we can continue these “chats” for quite some time, as they help me relieve stresses of the week. Baby Boy is a good listener.

In those quiet moments of the morning he and I sometimes listen to music. He will be a Beatles fan some day, he just doesn’t know it yet. I think I’ll wait to introduce him to other favorites of mine later. Listening to Jimi Hendrix in the morning may not be as calming as the acoustic renderings of John, Paul, George, and Ringo.

Hopefully, Baby Boy is still here once baseball begins. There would be nothing better than introducing him to a game that I love. While I am not holding out much hope for the Cubs this coming season, it is always a joy to see Wrigley Field on the television. It would be a thrill to be able to take him to his first game there. The sights, sounds, and smells would have us both enthralled.

Amanda and I still have no idea how long Baby Boy will be with us. It could be a few days, a month, a year, or even longer. In the month that he has been, he has already left his fingerprints on our hearts. Our hope is that he is ours for a long time to come, but we know that may not be the case. In the meantime, he is ours to love, to teach, and to guide. God give us the strength to do all of those things.

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Baby Boy

It is just past 2:00 a.m. as I write this. My thoughts cannot help but turn to how infuriating life can be at times. It is simply unfair. I just got done feeding Baby Boy. That is what I will call our foster child, as I will never divulge his name on this blog.

I am angry with this precious child’s biological parents. They are missing out on seeing him develop and grow. Amanda and I have had Baby Boy for nearly two weeks. In that time he has become more aware of his surroundings, he has begun to show pieces of his personality, and he has brought us happiness.

As I look into this baby’s beautiful eyes it infuriates me that there are people who seem to have no struggle at all bearing children. Amanda and I are unable to have a baby of our own. So, why is it so easy for people who seemingly couldn’t care less about the children they bring into this world? It is unfair! It is painful to know that baby boy may go back to parents who lack the ability to provide the things that he needs. We want to be those people in his life.

In the time we have had this child, we have grown to love him as if he was our flesh and blood. He is a sweet baby who has given us a desire to learn all that we can to be the best parents for him, even if it is just for a short time.

It is so difficult to wish for Baby Boy to be reunited with his parents. We don’t know them, but it is heartbreaking to think that this child whom we love will be given back to parents who may not give him the same love and support he needs to grow into a healthy adult. Life is unfair, especially for this little boy who needs two parents to raise him in a loving, caring environment.

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The Perfect Gift

It will be a week ago tomorrow that the call came. It was a call that would change our lives forever. We were in St. Louis visiting Amanda’s family for Christmas. It was so unexpected, however, it was something we have been waiting to hear for months.

The social worker on the line told us we would be getting our first placement as foster parents. Amanda and I never dreamed that we would be getting a newborn as our first placement. In fact, we had heard that it was such a longshot that we had prepared only to receive older children. However, God had other plans for us.

Last Friday evening we were told to make way for a day-old baby boy who had been born a month premature. Thruthfully, I think both Amanda and I were terrified. We have never been parents before. However, we now had two days to prepare for the arrival of the new life. Usually, people have 9 months. We had 48 hours! Fortunately, we have a wonderful support network of family and friends who have stepped up and provided many of the things we’d needed to take care of this precious new life.

After getting the phone call, Amanda and I decided we’d head home from St. Louis. However, that was not before Amanda’s mom and sister took us to Target for an improptu shopping spree. My only thought the whole time we were there was, “I know how to take care of my needs, but I have no idea how to take care of a newborn!” Reality was beginning to settle in. We were now going to be caring for another human being!

We had no information about the baby before we went shopping, other than he was a boy. Therefore, we did our best picking out clothes, diapers, and other items we would need. Once we were loaded up, Amanda and I made a late-night trip back home from St. Louis. The following day was spent preparing our home to welcome this new baby boy.

We also had friends from church stop by to drop off items for the baby. Family came as well to bring things to help us. The outpouring of love and support from church and family has been a blessing.

As foster parents we are not allowed to divulge much information about this tiny boy who has come to capture our hearts. He is a perfectly healthy baby who has already brought lots of joy and laughter to our lives. There have been many hilarious moments in just a few short days. For instance, the baby was circumcised before he left the hospital, which led Amanda to note his “penis looks angry.” Being a huge fan of bathroom humor this only made me laugh.

Being foster parents your heart goes out to the biological parents. They have had their child removed from their care. Despite what we make think of these people, it still makes us empathize with how they must be hurting. However, it is such a great feeling to know Amanda and I can provide a safe place for this little boy. He has only been with us since Sunday afternoon, but he is already loved so much. We both love holding this new life in our hands. It is impossible not be thankful for being given the opportunity to care for this defenseless little boy.

We are getting a routine down. Feedings are becoming easier, sleep deprivation is starting to feel normal, and being peed and pooped on is no big deal. In fact, I have been quite inpressed with this little guy’s skills to shoot poop around the room. We have learned quite quickly to use a shield when changing diapers.

Amanda and I do not know for sure how long we will have this baby boy, but we hope it is for a while. He already means so much to us. He will be loved and cared for as long as he is with us. He is a gift that came to us at Christmas. This baby boy is the greatest gift we could have received.

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Dimming of the Day

Amanda and I have been married for seven years. We are also coming up on the seventh year of living in the house we bought shortly after getting married. It is a house that has always been cozy and has always felt like home.

I am unable to do much of the maintenance around the house. For instance, I cannot clean out the gutters, mow the lawn, or shovel snow. These things have always bothered me. I feel like I am less than a man for not being able to do these things.

Our house was built in 1935. It is showing its age, especially on the outside. We’ll need a new roof soon. We could use new siding and new windows as well. Plus, our front porch needs to be be painted and restained. These are things that I worry about a lot. However, I know they will get done. There are many things that need to be renovated inside as well.

Despite all of the work that needs to be done we still love our little house. This old house makes me think of a song that I always tell Amanda is “our song.” The name of the song is “Dimming of the Day.” It was written by a musician by the name of Richard Thompson. However, the version that I refer to as “our song” was done my one of my favorite guitarists, David Gilmour. Below is a video of the song. The words fit perfectly as to how I feel about our house. Most importantly, it speaks to how I feel about Amanda. Please give it a listen.

Amanda would tell you that “our song” is “Silly Love Songs” by Wings. Don’t believe her. I despise that song!

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Patience – Part 2

Eventually the rest of the group caught up to where I was on the river and we continued on our way.  At times the river’s current began to pick up, which made it a little more difficult to avoid obstacles that were in the water.  However, I did fairly well dodging these logs, rocks, and small rapids.  As time went on I was beginning to feel more confident in my abilities to make my way down the river. 

After floating a few more miles, the group decided to take a break along a sandbar.  Despite the fact that this was a July day, it was quite cool and there had been sprinkles of rain on and off throughout our journey down the river.  It perhaps was not the best day to be out on the water, but we continued on after a brief rest. 

As we got further down the river the current became a little more swift.  Likewise, there were a few more rapids to navigate.  By this time I was beginning to feel like I wanted this trip to end.  Little did I know, it was actually just beginning. 

As noted in part one of this story, I am quite inexperienced kayaking on rivers.  So, as the current began to flow a little quicker, I began to feel uneasy.  I just wanted to be out of the kayak and back on dry land where I could warm up a little.  However, things were going to get a lot colder in just a little while. 

More and more obstacles began to come into view the farther we got down the river.  Lots of trees had fallen into the river, which meant we had to navigate around them.  There were also more and more rocks to swerve around as well.  At times there were only very narrow spaces to float through as we went along downstream.  It was in one of these tighter spaces that the front of my kayak snagged a log that had become partially submerged.  This was also a spot where the water was moving quite rapidly. 

As my kayak smacked into the log, I was flipped upside down.  Upon realizing what was happening I tried to grab ahold of my crutches, which I foolishly had brought with me in the kayak.  Despite my best efforts they both shot away from me very quickly as did my glasses.  So there I was submerged upside down in the river trapped inside my kayak.  Fortunately, I was able to squirm my way out of the craft.  I then swam up to the surface, where luckily I found a nearby sandbar. 

I climbed out of the water in a daze not being able to see anything at all, as my glasses had quickly disappeared to the bottom of the river.  The rest of the group came to see if I was all right.  After assuring them that I was, they began to trudge around the river bottom looking for my crutches and my glasses.  However, after searching for several minutes neither my crutches nor my glasses were found. 

So, without being able to see anything, I hopped into a canoe with Amanda, while her cousin Doug took over piloting the kayak I had been floating in throughout the day.  Despite having very little idea of what was going on around me, I still felt it necessary to be a “backseat driver.”  Fortunately, Amanda did not whack me across the face with one of her paddles.  Although, I am quite certain she felt like doing that at some point.

As we got to the spot where we were to climb out of our canoes and kayaks there was yet another obstacle for me to face.  Without my crutches or my glasses, I would need to crawl several feet back to the car.  So, there I was sopping wet, cold, and nearly blind.  As I was drenched from head to toe, I decided to climb in the back Alice’s SUV and lay across some blankets that had been put down for me. 

I can say without a doubt that the trip back to my in-laws house was one of the longest car rides I have ever experienced.  On the way calls were made to various medical supply stores to see if they sold the type of crutches that I use.  However, by this time, it was fairly late in the day, so no shops were open.  This is when I remembered that I had a spare pair of crutches in the trunk of my car.  I also had stashed a pair of old glasses in the glove compartment as well.  So, once we got back to my in-laws house, I took a nice warm bath, cleaned the sand from all my cracks and crevices.  Then I spent the rest of the weekend walking around on an old pair of crutches and staring through lenses that were a few prescriptions too old. 

From now on I will always have a spare pair of glasses and some old crutches with me just in case I need them.  I have also decided that I will stick to calm lakes and streams from now on if I want to go kayaking.  However, I don’t think I have much of a desire to do that, at least for several more years.  Finally, I will always be grateful for the patience of Amanda.   

Oh, and one last thing before I go. If you are ever on the Meramec River in Missouri and you come across a pair of crutches, let me know, as I will forever wonder what became of those sticks of mine.                     

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Patience – Part 1

“Patience is not passive, on the contrary, it is concentrated strength.” – Bruce Lee

My wife Amanda is one of the most patient people that I know. I am very thankful that God has placed her in my life. This is because I often test my own limits, and she is there to pick up the pieces. It is a great thing that we live right across the street from our local hospital, as we visit the ER at least once every six months. The reasons for our trips have varied over the years. One of the last times we were there was for a surgical incision that had split open and had become infected. This was probably due to me trying to resume normal activity too soon.

Perhaps one of the best illustrations of Amanda’s patience was during a canoe trip that we took a few summers ago with her sister Alice, and some of their cousins. This was the second canoe trip Amanda and I had been on together. The first one ended with me tipping over the canoe in which we were floating. Fortunately, it was pretty hot that day and we both dried off rather quickly. However, I think due to this experience, Amanda was a little apprehensive to have me float along in a canoe with her on our trip with Alice and the cousins. Therefore, I was exiled to my own kayak, which was fine with me, as I enjoy kayaking very much. The only problem is that before this second canoe trip I had never taken a kayak out onto a river. I had only ever floated in rather calm lakes.

Despite my inexperience kayaking on anything but a serene lake, we all set off down the Meramec River, which winds its way through various parts of Missouri.  About five minutes into the trip I floated my way over to some rather large rocks that were near the bank of the river.  I then extended my right hand out in order to grab ahold of one of the rocks, as I had gotten ahead of the rest of the group.  Fortunately, just before I touched one of the rocks, I noticed that a snake was perched about 6 inches from my hand.  I believe this was a pretty harmless snake, as it slithered its way into the river and out of my sight.  However, this was perhaps a sign of things to come.   

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